Welcome to the first episode of Building A Better Sisterhood (BBS 001) with me, your host, Cecelia GreeneBarr. I am super excited about this first episode as we launch out into a new thing. The whole idea is that females need female friends and so come on with me into this journey of Building A Better Sisterhood. As I planned and prepared for this podcast I thought to myself, “Who better to start off this venture than my sister?” So I would like to introduce to you my BFF (best friends forever), my sister friend. We have so much in common which adds depth to our friendship. We leave room for us to think differently on subjects and also alike on other areas. We laugh at each other’s jokes, or what we call jokes. We are in so many places of life at the same time. I respect her. I honor her. I enjoy her. What a blessing to be able to say that I have never been around her and not enjoyed her presence. Isn’t that awesome! And so I want to introduce to the world, my friend & my sister; Kecia Ford.
For this episode, I am joined by my BFF, my sister, Kecia Ford to teach sisters how to build relationships. This episode came about because I began to think about the benefit that certain women bring in to my life. They’re close friends to me and I seek to be a good friend to them but we realize we have to work on these relationships, we have to work on them, we can’t take them for granted and we have to be better in our sisterhood.
My friend, Kecia, we are both in the same profession. We have so many things in common and the wonderful thing about our sisterhood is that we’re both credentialed women. We’re both married and we’re both mothers. I find that it is important to have sisters in your life that you can just come and just be who you are. Not that we put up facades for anyone else but with the real sister, you’re able to just let your hair down and just be who you are and be candid and you know you’re in the safe space when you’re talking to a real sister.
When I think about the fact that we are sisters, I remember the day we met the first time, we were someplace celebrating someone and then 5 or 6 years later, we happened to be at another event and she remembered me. I don’t know how many years passed but we were at that event and we were both selling our books and at that moment I did not know we would become such good friends and it just lead us to think that even in sisterhood, there’s a certain timing because we met at that place celebrating somebody else. We learned that we can find good sisters when we find sisters celebrating someone else.
We have so much in common but we are also very different from each in some aspects. We are different in terms of personality types but yet we’ve been able to have an awesome sisterhood and it not trouble us. I am far more introverted than my friend, Kecia. I don’t find energy in the crowd, I have to come away from the crowd and get some energy unlike Extrovert people, who have a tendency to thrive and gain energy being around all the people and the chaos and the excitement and all of that and that speaks volumes of authentic relationships.
When we come together on common ground, things will organically grow from that. In particular, when you can sense as a sister, you all maybe different but you have a common ground and the person is genuine, you will have a tendency to want to know the other person. When you want to know the other person, you’re beginning to learn their ways. If you genuinely care about that individual in your life, you feel will see value in that person being in your life.
We come at it from a different perspective because she is an only child and so, she sees things from the lens of an only child and I have siblings and so we see things a lot differently and when your talking about the different dynamics of the relationships with people. We’re talking about something that crosses the lines of siblings, relatives and long term relationships, we’re talking about something completely different and when I even think about how you and I met and the years that passed before we really connected, not even knowing we would become as tight as we are. It’s absolutely amazing and it wasn’t anything we try to strategically do. It was a very organic situation that to me once we connected again, we jumped past friends and just became sisters.
I remember our first road trip and I flew to Maryland and we got in the car and you drove us to where we were going and we talked the whole way and there was never a dull moment. We stopped and ate every chance we got – now, that is something we have in common. We both loved to eat. We also went on a road trip to Texas, that wasn’t a very good time for me because of my mother’s passing. I remembered Kecia calling my husband – she had access to my husband and that is sisterhood right there because wisdom will tell you, you don’t give access to folks but we trust each other so, she had my husband’s number and called my husband and to convince me to go with her on that road trip.
And so we had a good time at and it was what my soul needed. It wasn’t so much the conference. I just needed to be around her and to laugh and to cry. I don’t know if I spent more time laughing or crying but just to know that whatever was on my mind as I was in a really painful place I could talk to her about it, but what I was thinking about while I was talking about Texas was my love for eating.
I think that what we have found, is that number 1, we’ve been very intentional about being sisters and I try to be the best sister I can because I am so focused I have to intentionally come out of my head and make sure that I am present and she does a good job of helping me with that too because she knows I will talk on the phone and multitask. I will be cleaning and cooking but when she needs me to be present and to come out of my head, she would just tell me that she needs to vent and that means I stop what I’m doing and listen to her allow her to talk freely because with everyone else you can’t talk freely and if you do share any of it you’re giving them the cut version which is wisdom because the information that you’re sharing especially if it means so much to you that you have to vent that long will more than likely bear that the kind of information that you cannot allow to land in just anyone’s hands.
When you find yourself feeling as though you don’t have real sisterhood understand that God has you on location and in the process he know what you need, his timing is important but what I will share with you is that a real sister is someone that’s able to look beyond what they need and put your needs before them and before their own needs and then in turn, you are the same for her and if both of us or both of you are doing that then neither one of you will like anything.
When I think about our friendship, sister friends, they can be very seasonal. Some can be for the fullness of your lifetime and then some can come in 20-30 years down the line. People can come in to your life and latter stages of your life and it can feel like they have been there all of your life and so its not always about how long you’ve known someone that qualifies them to be a sister. Sometimes people are so guarded that they feel like they don’t trust anybody. No one wants to live like that and so somebody can come in to your life when you are past the adolescence, you are in that stage of life where you know who you are and you’re living your life and bam, here come the blessing of the sister and its at the right time and its the right space.
Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom“….
We can be acquaintances with any and everybody but real sisterhood and friendship, they are diamonds to be treasured. – Kecia Ford
There are times when your personality traits make sisterhood a wonderful place. – Cecelia GreeneBarr
Love your sister better than a text message – Cecelia GreeneBarr
We do not have to mold ourselves just to please other people – Cecelia GreeneBarr
Don’t you appreciate it when your friends can fill in the blanks? – Cecelia GreeneBarr
Females need friends. – Cecelia GreeneBarr
Call to Action:
Sit down and think about 2 or 3 women who have made a wonderful impact in your life and pick up the phone, give them a call and say “Hey I was thinking about you.”