2016 is fast coming to an end and 2017 will be here before we know it, so as we celebrate the outgoing of 2016, the highs, the lows and the neutral zones of 2016, we need to begin to look into 2017 and to plan and to strategize accordingly.
This is going to be a good time of conversation and thinking forward as we are looking and preparing ourselves for 2017. So, how did I come to this idea? Well, simple, this podcast Building A Better Sisterhood is about helping to be a better sister to a sister to your bestie. You and I, we are becoming besties over this medium of a podcast. You let me come in to your ear, you let me talk to you, you listen as I interview other ladies, other sisters, talk about their best friend experiences and I just believe that we are developing this relationship and I want to add value to your life, add value to the time that you give to me in your life and the best way I know how to do that is to share some good information. Being a friendship strategist for you and just sharing with you some things that are going to help you think more strategically about your own life and when your life is good, just as our sister on a previous episode, Tamara Scott said, when you have whole people coming together, it makes for better friendships. So the only way that you can guarantee that you are coming into good friendships is to be whole yourself and what better way to be whole than to think holistically about your life.
I just want to share a few things with you about how we can prepare for 2017 and as we are preparing for 2017, it is not my intention to run away from a year. In my life, I tried to embrace every single day. I try to bring 100% of my game everyday, 100% of who I am to every task. I am a bit of a type a personality but whether you are type A or not, you owe it to yourself to bring your best self, your best ability, your strongest mindset to your moment. Now, that does not mean that you always have to be at the top of your game. I woke up this morning and my throat, you know how you get the feeling where something is coming on and your immune system is a little depleted? And so even if your game for that day is to rest your body, then do it and do it well.
So with that mindset, every single day to me is very precious and these days accumulate into a year so I don’t like to ever run from a year. 2016, how was it for you? How was it for your relationships with your best friends, some people came into your life in 2016, some people left your life in 2016. You probably went some place that opened some new possibilities of ideas and thinking for you. Hopefully, you took a vacation, maybe it wasn’t two weeks sailing the Nile, was it at least a weekend away where you could just relax, unplug and breather? So 2016, I’m sure for you as it was for me, it had a variety of experiences and I embrace and I am thankful for everything that I experienced in 2016. Every bit of it, every single bit of it, why? Because I was allowed to experience it, every day I woke up and my children came and gave me a hug and we talk about our love for one another, every day that my husband looked at me and told me he loved me, every time my friends sent me a text, called me, spent their finances to spend time with me and I did the same for them. 2016 was great and I am in no way saying that we need to just throw it away, just can’t wait to get out. That is not what I am talking about today. What I am saying to us, to myself and to you is that the responsible thing to do is to begin to prepare for the next year.
Now, so many people just roll out of one year and roll into the next year as if nothing has happened. Its just another day, you just wake up another day. But I am a woman that believes in celebrating. I like to celebrate. This year for my birthday, on my birthday I had a cake, I had flowers, I was at a conference that the day before was quite intense, and so I got up, I put my birthday dress on, I put my self together, I went to my booth, I pat my cake and as people came past my booth, before they could say what they were going to say, I told them, its my birthday, tell me happy birthday all that other stuff, so I am a woman that likes to celebrate and so as I celebrate the outgoing of 2016, the highs, the lows and the neutral zones of 2016, it is just responsible to begin to look into 2017 and to plan and to strategize accordingly. Now some people don’t like that word, strategize, its just planning ahead, thinking strategically, now I know that not everyone sits and think strategically, that’s not something that some people even give thought, they are more free flowing and maybe you are free flowing but just do this with me. See if it benefits you even if you are free flowing. 2017 is just a few weeks away and we will be in to this new year and there are some new possibilities waiting for you in 2017 and you don’t want to miss them only because you did not think ahead, you did not imagine ahead, you did not strategize ahead.
First thing I want to talk about is just taking some time to start thinking about your intentions towards your next year. You get to be, I don’t really like this word, selfish because it has so many negative connotations but I am going to use it. So, you are entitled to think about yourself and what I want to encourage you to do is to begin to take some time this week after hearing this podcast, take some time to start thinking about your intentions, not your activities but what are your intentions towards your next year, towards 2017? What are your intentions for your self? What do you intend for 2017 in your life? Don’t confuse this with the resolutions, personally I was never good in making a resolution for January 1 to start and then by February 1, I would have forgotten it. I am not talking about resolutions, I am just saying, begin this week to start thinking about your intentions towards your next year, not what you want somebody else to do, not anything external but your intentions towards your next year and so I want to give two steps to begin to do this, this is preparation and you know what preparation begins? It begins in your mind. That is valuable real estate, your mind is valuable real estate, sometimes squatters come and try to squat on your mind with thoughts and intentions that are of no value to you or little value so reclaim that real estate and the way we are going to reclaim that real estate is to begin to think about your intentions for your next year and you are going to start with that valuable real estate which is your mind. So number 1, let’s do this even if you are free flowing, just try it with me, number 1, in this week from today until next week when I come back and talk to you again I want you to take 30 minutes every single day to think about your intentions. 30 minutes goes by fast when you go get a massage, who gets a 30 min massage? Its like as soon they get started, its over. So you know how fast 30 minutes can go by but I am going to ask you to take 30 minutes in your valuable real estate which is your mind, your thoughts, take 30 minutes and the only thing that your are going to begin to think about in those 30 minutes are your intentions. Now, you’re saying “where am I going to get 30 minutes, my life is full, I have responsibilities, I am already over taxed and you want me to find 30 more minutes”, no, I don’t want you to find 30 minutes, let me see if I can find 30 minutes for you as a suggestion. Do you go and get your hair done every week? If you go to a salon or someone’s house or wherever it is you go to get your hair done, to get somebody else to service you and take care of you, instead of engaging in the conversation that usually goes on in those establishments, instead of watching the television or listening to the music or the gossip or the banter, put your ear plugs in and just tell them I am not trying to be rude but I need to think about some things while you are taking care of my hair so I am going to put these plugs in but I don’t want you to feel like I don’t want to engage with you, I just need 30 minutes while you are taking care of my hair, I need to take care of my mind and while you are sitting there and they are taking care of your hair or let’s say for example you are at the nail salon, put your ear plugs in and begin to think. You are going to be sitting there and you might as well use it to your benefit so while you are there, begin to think and if that doesn’t work for you how about this? If you live in the city, when you take public transportation to and from work or wherever, when you are sitting on the train, sitting on the bus, now you do need to be aware of your surroundings, I am not saying close your eyes or anything, all I am saying is take that time, don’t listen to any music, don’t scroll social media, just take 30 minutes doing that time and work in your own real estate which is your mind, you can find some time like that and let’s say you drive and so don’t think about while you are driving because while you are driving you are paying attention to what you are doing but when you get to your destination, if you are someone who drives to work, when you arrive at your destination, stay in your car, I know its getting cold for some of us living in cold areas this might be a challenge, stay in your car for 5 minutes, if you are in a cold climate, if you can afford it, just let the car run because you don’t want to be cold, stay in your car for 5 minutes, turn the radio off, take your phone, set the timer and think for 5 minutes about your intentions for your next year.
So these are just some places where you can find some time and if you can’t do it in 30 minute chunks then do it as long as you can and build your way up but by the end of the week accumulate as many minutes as you possibly can thinking about your intentions for next year and keep some paper with you, it doesn’t have to be big notebooks, no major investment, just get a little sheet of paper and get one sheet of paper, letter size paper and fold it until it is just small and manageable and you can just tuck it in some place just so you can always have a piece of paper and a writing instrument and while you are thinking everyday, if you cant get 30 minutes, take 5 sitting in the car and what you should do as you are thinking write down every single random thought about your intentions. I intend this for my next year, write it down, don’t think about whether it makes it, just write it down. We are writing down what we are thinking and we will flush it down later.
Now the next thing that I am going to ask you to do in preparation for 2017, I want you to get an accountability partner for at least one area of your intention, so lets say for example your intention for 2017 is to save 17% of your take home money that you are going to save it, you are not saving it for a trip, you are not saving it for spending but you are saving it for your future, and you need to get an accountability partner just so that you can have somebody who will keep you accountable for your strategy for saving that money. Lets say one of your intentions for next year is to buy a new home, maybe you want to downsize, maybe you want to get something larger, whatever it is your intention happens to be but you want to buy a new home and you want to get the best interest rate possible, maybe that is your intention then get an accountability partner and this is what I am going to say about your accountability partner, this is not your best friend. This is not your spouse, this isn’t your husband, this isn’t your boyfriend. This is someone who will help you stay accountable towards your intentions towards your next year.
Now the reason I say you shouldn’t make it your husband, your boyfriend or your best friend is because they already participate in so many areas of your life and you want someone that when you talk to that person, you are only talking about this one thing because their role in your life is not to meet all your needs, they are there for accountability and accountability only. Sis, where am I going to get this accountability partner, there are some networks that you are a part of, some people that you know, you are not trying to pour your life out to them, you are not trying to give them your social security number and the accounts to you savings, you are not divulging all of your life to them, their purpose in your life is to keep you accountable to your own intentions, so the only true vulnerability you have to share is what your intentions are towards your life and you need to have the conversation with them to say he, would you be willing to be my accountability partner, now, if you say to your accountability partner, my intentions towards my next year is to get 8 hours of sleep every night, then you don’t have to explain well I went to the doctor and this is what is going on with my help and part of my restoration process… You don’t need to tell them all of that, this is not your best friend, you are not trying to be best friends, you just need an accountability partner, so maybe you are part of a network and you are able to just kind of discern someone that you can have that level of interaction with and you are going to be wise. Wisdom is the first thing, these are not people, they are not intended to counsel you, they are accountability, you check in and you are honest when you check in.
Maybe you are part of some online groups and when you are part of an online group and you want to find an accountability partner, that group obviously has some interest that are similar to yours begin to read some of the things people post in their comments and if you see people posting things that you resonate with their comment, maybe that might be a good person to reach out to and say hey, I have been reading your comments, I kind of like the way you think, I am looking for an accountability partner for 2017. When you tell them what you want from them and how long you want it then they will not begin to think that you are asking them to participate in a long term project with them because they may not want to do that but if you say I am looking for an accountability partner in this one area of my life and I was wondering if you would mind doing that with me and maybe we can set it up where I would check in with you on a weekly, bi-weekly basis and would you be interested in helping me in that way and maybe, just maybe they might be looking for an accountability partner in the same area and then therefore the relationship will become reciprocal but remember this is an accountability partner, so when the two of you check in, you talk about what you are checking in about and then you depart the conversation because we are not trying to become best friends, we are trying to stay on track.
So those are the two areas I want to encourage you to begin with and let me give you a third because this was really on my mind and on my heart. Do this, I for myself, I like to read, I like books, I get magazine but honestly it is hard for me to sit and read a magazine because I get distracted by the advertisements but a book I like to read and I’ll be honest with you I don’t do very much leisure reading because I am always on task in my profession so I am always reading books that are related to the work that I do, I am personally very passionate about what I do for a living and what I do for my life and so I read and I read in my area but I want to encourage you, I don’t know if you have a library at home, if you actually buy books. A lot of people don’t buy books anymore, they download them but whether you buy a book, if you go to a library to get your books, we still do libraries in this house because we have young children so we still do the library and as a matter of fact, the library is a good place to think. The public library, yes it is. You know why? Because you are supposed to be quiet in a library so that is another spot, I did not think about it on the front end but if you are home, sometimes even if I am home alone, I have a hard time thinking about me because I’m responsible for so many people in my home, my husband, my children, I have responsibilities to my family that I love but sometimes I am the last one on the totem pole to get some thought time so yes, I sneak off to the library and I sit in the library and I can think so there you go. There’s a bonus but back to my point.
Last point, if you have books in your home, I want to ask you to do this sister, go to your library where you keep your books in your home and pull out twelve books that you intend to read in 2017. Now, it is good to reread a book. Now I don’t know about you but one of my cousins, she is no longer with us but she used to love romance novels, I couldn’t get into it but she loved romance novels so whatever it is that you like to read whether it is informational, inspirational but find twelve books and pull them separate from the rest of your library and look at those books and schedule in one book a month that you will read in 2017, reading, you need to read and I don’t mean just reading everybody’s social media updates. You need to read a book, a book of your choosing but read and go back and reread specially your informational, inspirational books. Go back and reread those, take some notes, do some annotations, go back and reread and set out for yourself 12 books that you will read in 2017. Whatever those subjects are but keep your mind fresh. Those are the three things.
Remember them? number 1 the first thing we are going to do is take 30 minutes each day to think about your intentions. This is between now and the new year, 30 minutes every day over the next few weeks thinking only about the your intentions for you, your next year. Number 2, you are going to get yourself an accountability partner in at least one area of your intention and number 3, find 12 books that you will read even if it is a book you have read before, 12 books. Pull those books out, put them in a place of prominence and read them. Put them on the schedule for when you will read them in 2017.
Alright, that was a lot but I hope it was good for you because we have to prepare for 2017. That is how we are going to be better because we are going to be better and we are going to bring our better selves to our bffs, that is what we are going to do.
Thank you so very much for giving me this time to talk to you as we prepare for 2017. We are not running away from 2016, we are just getting ready for the new year and when I come back for the next podcast, we will be talking about this some more, if you want to share with me some of the books you are going to be reading in 2017, can you put those comments on the website buildingabettersisterhood.com, go to the episode page and for this particular episode there will be a place where you can leave comments. I would like to know what you are reading, what you intend to read for 2017 so come on, list your books that you intend to read and it doesn’t have to be in any particular order, I just like to know what you are reading so I appreciate you doing that and sharing in that kind of way. Also thank you for clicking the icon on your digital device where you can actually share this podcast, you can click it, you can share it on your social media. You can text the link, just from your phone, just form your ipad or your tablet to somebody in your circle, to your bff and maybe you want to connect to your bff and say hey listen, I just listened to this podcast, let’s do this together, let us think about 17 together because it will be here before you know it.
So I want thank you in advance for clicking share, using that icon on this broadcast to share it with somebody else. Well I thank you for this day. This has been another episode of building another sisterhood with me. I am your host, Cecelia GreeneBarr. Thank you. I’ll see you online, you can find me on Facebook, you can follow me if you are a twitter person but stop by the website, buildingabettersisterhood.com. Until the next time, I share my voice with you and you share your time with me. Have a great day. Good bye.
Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”
The only way that you can guarantee that you are coming into good friendships is to be whole yourself – Cecelia Greenebarr
It is just responsible to begin to look into 2017 and to plan and to strategize accordingly. – Cecelia Greenebarr
Your mind is valuable real estate, sometimes squatters come and try to squat on your mind with thoughts and intentions that are of no value to you or little value so reclaim that real estate. -– Cecelia Greenebarr
Get an accountability partner just so that you can have somebody who will keep you accountable for intentions towards the next year. – Cecelia Greenebarr
You owe it to yourself to bring your best self, your best ability, your strongest mindset to your moment. – Cecelia Greenebarr
Embrace everything you have experienced in 2016 because you were allowed to experience it. – Cecelia Greenebarr
You don’t want to miss your opportunities only because you did not think ahead. – Cecelia Greenebarr
Call To Action:
The first thing we are going to do is take 30 minutes each day to think about your intentions. This is between now and the new year, 30 minutes every day over the next few weeks thinking only about the your intentions for you, your next year. Number 2, you are going to get yourself an accountability partner in at least one area of your intention and third, find 12 books that you will read even if it is a book you have read before, 12 books. Pull those books out, put them in a place of prominence and read them. Put them on the schedule for when you will read them in 2017.
Find Cecelia GreeneBarr on the Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrGreeneBarr