Closing Prayer for 2016 Friendships w/ Cecelia GreeneBarr | Episode 14

Closing prayer sisterhood podcast GreeneBarr

We are days away from a new year. New start, new beginning, a new year and I wanted to end this year in a very unique and different way by ending it with a prayer.

 

Prayer Points

Touch our hearts so that as we move in to 2017, we will be the best sister to our best friends, that we can possibly be. CECELIA GREENEBARR

Empower us to be better in the way we demonstrate our support to our sister, to be better in how we are present for our sister, to be better in the way we listen to what our sister is saying and not saying.CECELIA GREENEBARR

Empower us to be better in our intentions towards our sister. CECELIA GREENEBARR

Help us to hear more sincerely to what our sisters are saying and not saying. CECELIA GREENEBARR

Cause us to be the light in their life when they feel like they are in darkness. CECELIA GREENEBARR

Thank you for our sisters and for their willingness suffer along with us and to operate with patience with us. CECELIA GREENEBARR

We rejoice and celebrate in our sisters’ successes and triumphs and goals attained, the happiness in their life, the health of their children, the joy in their soul.CECELIA GREENEBARR

Links

Find Cecelia GreeneBarr on the Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrGreeneBarr

 

Reflecting on Personal Victories in 2016 w/ Kecia Ford | Episode 13

personal-victories.sisterhood-podcast13.greenebarr.jpg

Even during difficult and strange times, we can find personal victories. In this episode Kecia and I share with you some of our personal victories and how they inform our intentions for 2017.

Podcast Transcription:

On today’s episode, Kecia and I will be talking about victories in 2016. You’ve had some victories in 2016 even if you can’t think about them off the top of your head. If you sit back and relax for a minute, you’ll see some victories come to the forefront and so we share with you some of the victories that we personally had in 2016 and how those victories are informing our intentions for 2017.

I told Kecia that I wanted us to do a year-end reflection about all of our victories in 2016 and how we close out a year. We have been on the phone for 2 hours now and what you are getting is our joy at the end of a two-hour conversation.

Kecia shares that with God she has the victory of being able to go through a sifting process of people who are in our space and God is sharing with us that certain people don’t need to be in our space and when you finally grasp that and embrace it then we are ready for God to take us to another level. That is a victory in another self, it is praise worthy. It’s not the conventional victory that people want to hear but it is victory nonetheless that should be celebrated by allowing God to take us to that next level and to not look back. There are certain people in our lives that we feel as though we have to have or need but God quickly lets us know, that the level I am taking he is taking us on, we don’t necessarily need all of those people and certain assignments that we have, we sometimes think that it takes a whole lot of people to get it done but God only needs a few good people who are willing to go and follow him and another great victory is being able to give God thanks in all things.

When we try to hang on to the people, all the things that God is trying to release from our lives, it takes a lot mental, emotional and above all spiritual energy to hold on to them and because we have a vision of what we believe our lives should look like and it ends up being putting a square into a circle, trying to make something fit that’s not going to fit because those things or the individuals that God is trying to release us from, they’re not necessarily prime for the platform that God has taken us to. They’ll do nothing but hold us back. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them, we’ll pray for them every now and then, see about them but we have to learn to stop trying to drag people with us that God was not intending them to come anyway. God said you don’t need all those folks and our abundant life depends on our being able to embrace whatever it is that God is working out of our lives.

In my 2016, I think a great victory for my life, outside of my household came in the form of getting to know, being exposed and connecting with people who have an appreciation for who I am. Over the past 2 1/2 years, I met so many people in the United States and outside of the United States, after we came back from our two weeks in July, the level of love, concern and outpouring that I received from people that going into the year, all I was doing was being obedient but along the way, treasures were added to my life in the form of others who journey along the same path that I journey but prior to that time I did not know them, they did not know me but even until this day, my life has been enriched through the people that I came to understand in 2016. I may have meet them in 2014, in 2015 but in 2016 they showed themselves for who they are and how they feel about what I do to serve them and I consider that to be a huge victory especially as it comes at the seat the end of a long journey and so that was a great victory and it wasn’t just for me but it was also for my husband and our children because while we were in Philadelphia this summer, my children got an opportunity to engage and talk to many of the people that I had travelled and met in that 2 years span where I had to leave my family at home and jump on planes constantly and I would say that booth I had cost me $3000. That was expensive but I digress. It was worth it for our family because that was a station and a location where people from all across the United States and abroad knew where my spot was and they came and they talked to my children, they talked to my husband and so my family, they were able to connect the dots between “mommy’s been gone but when she was gone she met this person and this person” and so that was a victory for me because my family could then understand in a fuller manner how it was an investment of all of our time and all of our resources and they could see it, even my husband says “how do you know all of the names of all of these people?” and I would have to say, “I’m not sure, I met them I talked to them and I don’t know”, I learned a lot of names but I did not just learn names, God added to my life a lot of awesome people and that is a victory for me. My family was in it with me, the highs, the lows and things in that nature. they could see with their eyes and experience face to face the lives that I have touched during those two years. It makes it not just worthwhile to me, it made it worthwhile for them because they then felt like they were in full participation of all that I was doing so that made it worth it.

What also makes me think about when we look at the victories from our year. Even if that victory was not four months in length. We should all look at the victories we had each year. Even if we look at it, even if we write it down somewhere, at the end of the month because life is difficult. There is a lot of disappointment in many of our days but if we are not careful, that disappointment will over shadow some of our victories and if we kind of try to take an account of the victories as we are moving along we can come to the end of the year and be able to say “well I had a victory here, and I had a victory here” but then it raises the issue about how it is that some sisters may not understand that there is not a conflict between being proud of your victory and being a humble person at the same time.

When we are faithful to God and he allows us to have winds and victories, our being proud of it has nothing to do with self-pride. It has everything to do with our being thankful, look what the Lord has accomplished through us. Something that if it hadn’t been for the Lord, we might not even thought about trying to accomplish such things and so I think that for the family and for our being proud of what God has accomplished in us, through us and for us, it is a form of gratitude and thankfulness and not taking the goodness of God for granted. That is different from being puffed up thinking that we pull our own selves up by our own bootstraps. Humbleness comes when we know that if it had not been for the Lord on our side or working through us, in us or for us, we would not have been able to do that. That is when the humbleness comes in. We can be proud and humble at the same time. We are admiring what God has done through us. Things that we cannot do without his anointing, his power and his holy spirit within us and so the humbleness comes in because we realize that its all God. If it wasn’t for God, you wouldn’t have been able to travel that long and your household be intact.

It takes the holy spirit, God, the power of God in our lives for us to do what he’s called us to do and I think for ministers and pastors in particular and preachers and evangelists who are on the road, I think in particular, God has to be pleased with the mate we have and the mate he is pleased with are the amazing. Not only have say that they love us from an emotional standpoint but they have the capacity to love us. We are able to be free to do ministry and they are still able to encourage encompass our whole world with support, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and yet, as men, they are still able to be faithful. Its not that we don’t have discipline and we leave our homes wide open or anything like that, these are things that we need to be grateful, thankful that God is in operation, not necessarily thankful that he or she is faithful but we are thankful for the faithfulness of God in all of us.

A couple of weeks ago on the podcast, I talked about thinking about our intentions for 2017 and I encouraged the listeners to give themselves time, uninterrupted time just to think about their intentions for themselves in 2017. I asked them to keep little slips of paper where they could jot down every idea without editing that idea, without trying to plan it all out but just to write down some of the things they were intending for themselves in 2017 and also I asked them to put together a list of about 12 books that they want to read in the course of the year. Sometimes its a victory just to finish a book. I asked the sisters to just take some books, pull those books out and to sit them someplace where they can look at them and kind of schedule them out and say “I am going to read this book this year” even if its a book that you reread.

When we look at 2017, Kecia shares that she endeavors to do better towards her, herself. She can be quite the workaholic, always has a lot on her plate and so this year, she says she’s going to be intentional about some me time to avoid throttling back on creativity, so when you start feeling as though you still got it but just right now, you are tired and you know you feel like you are doing the same thing over and over again, that is a good sign that you need to not throttle back on the creativity but power up the creativity by throttling back on everything else.

It’s going to take practice but that is something she is going to be intentional about. She has five children and her three oldest ones are not kids anymore, they are still her children, no matter how old they get, they will still need her but she has two more babies and they are growing up quickly and she can see that they need more attention than ever before so she is going to be intentional, now she has always given her family her time, she has always skimped on herself. So she is going to do better by doing better by herself.

One of the victories that I had in 2016 was that I found a good specialist and one day I’ll talk about it. The victory for me was getting an understanding of what I was feeling and so my intention as I come out of this year is to really make sure that I harness what the specialist has helped me to understand and to be regular and disciplined in the things that will help me. Since I have been an adult, I am a conscious eater, I’ve been pretty conscious about physical activity, I like to exercise and these kinds of things but there are new levels of understanding in terms of quality of food. I have always tried to eat good quality of food but there is just a little bit more knowledge that I have been exposed to from my specialist that I am looking forward to implementing, not just for myself but also for my family because I would have a tendency to cook one thing for me and then the rest of the family would get their regular meals but I am looking as this year comes to a close, I am looking at how I can implement the entire family into the things that I have learned for myself that have greatly benefitted me even though they were not experiencing the same kinds of things, maybe it will be preventative for them and it will make my life easy to cook one dinner instead of two.

Those are some of the things that I am looking at as I am closing out 2016 and my intentions towards 2017. Another intention that I have is to try as best as I can to be nurture the relationships of the people who expressed love, concern and appreciation for me in these past couple of years but particularly this year. I really want to nurture those relationships so they can be the fullness of what they can be. They all are not meant to be equal but to be able to nurture those relationships, put the time in as you and I know, not all relationships take the same level of effort to nurture. I want to try to not want but it is my intention to nurture those relationships to the best of my ability. Not over stressing but just to nurture them in a very good and honest and integrous way. This is an important exercise because if you don’t think about what you intend to do for yourself, then you won’t do anything differently and one year will look just like the previous year, it doesn’t take a lot of time to sit down and just think about what do intend to do but I also want to say this, don’t stop at intentions because intentions without a plan, you’ll get robbed by procrastination because it will always be something you were planning to do instead of something that you can actually implement in your life. So don’t get stuck at intentions, take that next step and come up with a plan for implementation.

Kecia adds that by all means be good to your self. Spend time with people who celebrate you and then be willing to invest in those people who celebrate you. Someone said that people are our greatest investment. Lastly, learn to develop transcendent thinking. Let your thinking and your though processes, let’s say it this way, let them rise above your present circumstance situation and interpret them through the eyes of God and not through your past experiences. Rise above life’s issues through transcendent thinking, transformational thinking. Let it transcend whatever is going on in your life. We are in a different kind of spiritual season where we cannot afford to just be conventionally be who we were. We now have to be purposed us to be in order to succeed in this different spiritual season.

Here is your call to action. Sit down and think about each month and write down a victory that you had in that month and see if there is something in your home or in your space that symbolizes that victory. Find something that you can put your eyes on that would symbolize the victory that you have so that as your are going through and into 2017 with your intentions, and with the plan that goes with your intentions, some of your intentions might be very lofty, might be very involved but when you look at the symbol of your 2016 victories, then you will remind yourself, I have victories I did not expect in 2016. So therefore, I will have some victories I am not expecting in 2017 and I can do this

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

Certain people don’t need to be in your space. When you finally grasp and embrace this reality then you’re ready for God to take you to another level.. – KECIA FORD

God only needs a few good people who are willing to go and follow him.KECIA FORD

There is a lot of disappointment in many of our days but if we are not careful, that disappointment will over shadow some of our victories.CECELIA GREENEBARR

When we are faithful to God and He allows us to have wins and victories, our being proud of it has nothing to do with prideKECIA FORD

My intentions… to nurture the relationships with the people who expressed love, concern and appreciation for me.CECELIA GREENEBARR

If you don’t think about what you intend to do for yourself, then you won’t do anything differently. One year will look just like the previous year. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Spend time with people who celebrate you and then be willing to invest in those people who celebrate you.KECIA FORD

Let your thinking and your thought processes, rise above your present situation. Interpret them through the eyes of God and not through your past experiences.KECIA FORD

Call To Action:

Sit down and think about each month and write down a victory that you had in that month and see if there is something in your home or in your space that symbolizes that victory. Find something that you can put your eyes on that would symbolize the victory that you have so that as your are going through and into 2017 with your intentions, you will remind yourself, I have victories I did not expect in 2016.

Links

Find Kecia Ford on Twitter:

Kecia Ford on Twitter – https://twitter.com/KDFMinistries

 

Being a Holiday Cheerleader for Another Sister w/ Cecelia GreeneBarr | Episode 012

BBS Episode 012

During the holiday season, as many are seeking to be joyful and happy and spending quality time with family, this is also time when depression is really high.

In this episode, we talk about being a holiday cheerleader to a sister that’s having a hard time during the holidays and how we can be better for sisters during this time of the year.

 

Podcast Transcription

Welcome to another episode of Building A Better Sisterhood with me your host, Cecelia GreeneBarr. Thank you for spending this time with me as we begin to look into being a holiday cheerleader for another sister.

When I sit down to record this podcast, I do it with a lot of different people in mind. I do it for the females, because females need female friends. It is the holiday and we have a lot on our plate right now.

Last week, the last episode that I presented to you, I asked you to begin to look at your intentions for your new year and this is not a part two to that podcast but I am lifting it to remind you that in these last few days of 2016, I hope everyday you are taking the time to sit down and look at your intentions for your own life in 2017. Now, with that being said, let us jump right into our talk for today.

I really want to talk for a few minutes about being a holiday cheerleader for another sister. Now, this doesn’t have to be your bestie, but just another sister. Maybe it is somebody that you work with and you know that maybe they can’t go home for the holiday or maybe they, in recent month or years, they do not have a close relative in their life and they are more because they have transitioned but whatever the reason, whatever the circumstance, you know that that other sister is having a hard time doing the holidays and I want to talk about it and so that we can see how we can be better for sisters during this time of the year.

I don’t have the statistics but it is pretty commonly known that this time of the year where so many are seeking to be joyful and happy and enjoying time and especially in our western culture, taking some time to relax because we are mostly overworked in this culture but during this time of the year we sit back and we relax a little bit more because we are spending time with those who are closest to us but at the same time it is in this part of the year where depression is really high, people are sad, so many people are financially challenged, they are going through difficult times, they are not able to spend money on gifts and presents like perhaps they were able to do so when earlier times in their lives or for some people they have experience all kinds of devastation and they’re just not in the mood to embrace all of the joyfulness of merchandising and all of the other things that come along at this time of the year.

I was reading online, a post where someone talked about how they just could not get into the swing of things for the holidays. They could not get in to all of the excitement about the shopping and everything and it really made me think about how hard this time of the year is for so many people and what can we do to be better in our relationships.

I love Christmas cards. I like sending Christmas cards and I like receiving Christmas cards and it makes me think about the 3 S’s for this time of the year. The first s is shopping, the second s is spending and the third s is seeing. When I think about shopping, that first s is shopping for others and shopping for your self. So even with the Christmas cards, we don’t expect everyone to go shopping and think of us and buy us a present but just to get those holiday cards, whether they are the Hanukkah card or they are the Christmas cards or the new year cards, but the cards that get mailed to your home at this time of the year, it is a reminder that the person who sent the card was thinking about us. That we are still on their mind and they want to send some cheer to us, some joys and some happiness and something tangible that says I have been thinking about you. But the other side to the shopping is the idea that you are trying to put a smile on someone’s face when you give them a present, now if you don’t receive presents because maybe you don’t have that parent with you anymore or that sibling or that loved one, your spouse with you anymore and just the idea of Christmas morning, getting ready to open presents but then no one went shopping for you, that can be a little sad. Just to have that idea that no one went shopping for you.

I want to give you a thought, if you know a sister that is kind of feeling like, well I don’t think anybody is going to go shopping for me and how we can help that sister out or maybe its you, maybe you are the one is feeling a certain kind of way, a certain kind of loneliness. There are people who do not have the means or the relationships and they really would like to have somebody remember them or think about them. What comes to my mind is the angel tree project that so many organizations have done where names are put on a tree and people will come and take the names and the names are of children and families and so people will come and get the names and they would go shopping for the names on the tree and then show up at that person’s home and surprise them with presents. Sometimes it takes the sting out of what you don’t receive when you become the giver instead of the receiver. Because you take the focus off of yourself and what it is that you feel like will not happen for you and then you take your energy and your thoughts and your intentions and transfer that into making it happen for somebody else.

It is really interesting and a little bit curious but have you ever just gone shopping for someone, they were not expecting it but you just really wanted to be a blessing in their life. You wanted to bring some joy and happiness to them. You go shopping and you give them something and you are not looking for anything in return but when they receive what you have given to them and you have surprised them with the joy that has come in, it is wonderful because you end up getting the same kind of warmth and pleasure out of enhancing somebody else’s life who was not expecting it. So, if you want to bring some holiday cheer to another sister, surprise another sister with something that is meaningful to that sister. It does not have to be expensive. I have a neighbor for years and years, every single Christmas, she bakes small loaves and she would bring one to us and to many of our neighbors and it was just the sweetest act of kindness and consideration and when she would come, I would just feel like wow, she was in her kitchen, thinking about our family and the other families as she was preparing these little loaves, these little cakes and it just made me sit back and think, I really appreciate. She didn’t go to a department store but she went to the grocery store, she spent her time and her intention and it just put a smile on our face because we live here with no family but it’s like, wow, isn’t this nice?

So to bring a little holiday cheer, let us start with the whole shopping. Do something really special and sweet and thoughtful for another sister, especially if it is a sister that might be feeling a little lonely right now, see this is a good time to really pay attention to the tone of another sister’s voice because everyone doesn’t say that they are lonely or they’re a little sad. They don’t say it but if you are discerning, you can hear that in their voice. So let’s do that little shopping and if you are the sister that you are feeling a little sad or lonely during this holiday season, you know what? If you are able, why don’t you go shopping for someone else? There are a lot of people, there are children at a children’s hospital in most every city or region. They are living in assisted living facilities. There are people who do not even have family members around them anymore. I am sure that they would be so happy to have someone come and bring them a little gift, go shopping for them. It does not have to be expensive. You can be creative, you can go to the craft store and make something special because then you will be taking your mind off of what you don’t have and putting your mind on what you do have to give and sometimes it could be your creativity. The second thing has to do with spending. Becoming a holiday cheerleader for another sister does deal with our spending. It is spending our money and spending our time, money and time. If you have more time, you can make some more money but if you have money, you can’t necessarily make time so when you want to be a cheerleader for another sister and I am really thinking about the sister who is overworked, I think about when I was in high school, I worked at a hospital and nurses and physicians and hospital staff, you know hospitals do not close, they are there 24 hours a day and when you think about the countless amount of people whether it is fire services or police services or hospitals, they don’t always get to spend that time with their friends and their families. Most of us have jobs where we can schedule vacations, we can schedule time with the people who mean the most to us but there are some professions that they don’t have the luxury. So, if you know of another sister who is in a profession where she has to work when everyone else is with their family, maybe you might try to find a way to spend some extra time with her so that she will feel the fullness of relationships with people who care about her because it is not always about spending all of your money, a lot of times people would really rather have your time.

When we were in college and during the holiday, they would close the dormitory and we would have to go home and sometimes, we have some students especially when I was in the seminary, we had students who lived in other countries, they did not get to go home but somebody always opened up their home and brought them so they could spend time with other people and so I want to encourage you sister, see if you can find someone to spend some extra time with during these last few weeks of the year. Whether it is going to do something silly and fun, go painting, go and take a walk and enjoy your surroundings, spending time does not mean finding busy things to do, spending time also means just being in the presence of others so let us find a way to be good to another sister and spend some extra time.

Now, let me tell you what is really wonderful now because I am a techy person is just the way that technology has really folded distance for us so we can spend time and it almost feel like we are in the same place because we can video, have conversations on video and it is like we are right there in the room with the other person. We can look into their eyes, not only hear the inflection of their voice but we can read their language, their body language and spend time. So I want to encourage you to be a holiday cheerleader for another sister. Let us spend not just our money but let us also start spending some more time.

The last s that I want to share with you my sister, deals with seeing and I want to talk about seeing what is in front of you and not just seeing what is behind you. In other words, during the holiday season, there can be this pull to look at what is behind, what is not there, what used to be there but not there now. Think about it like this, if you have carpet in your home and you have a piece of furniture on that carpet, let’s say you’re getting ready to vacuum and you move the furniture, well if you look in the carpet, you are going to see the indentations from where the furniture used to be and then after you finish vacuuming, ask yourself a question. Do you insist on putting that piece of furniture right back where it used to be or can you push your back almost and not kind of flip out in your own head because it is not exactly where it used to be? So that is seeing what is behind instead of seeing what is in front of you.

During this holiday season, if you and your family and you and your friends are in a great place and you know that there is another sister and through your conversations you can tell that she is not really looking and seeing what is in front of her but she seems to be looking and seeing what is behind her become a holiday cheerleader and help her shift her perspective to begin to see what is in front of her are the people who are present, not just the people who are not there anymore but the ones who are there and the ones who are planning to add to her future, who will be there with her for the next holiday unless something happens but help her shift her focus, turn her head a little bit instead of looking at what is not there or looking at what is behind but to see what is in front of her because she could have some really wonderful, awesome things happening right in front of her but she can’t see it because she is looking at what is behind or looking at what is off-center a little because sometimes we become overwhelmed and fascinated by the things that are off center instead of being focused on the things and seeing what is right in front of us. Be a holiday cheerleader and just help another sister to see what is in front of her.

Now, you may not know all of the details of her life, you may not know the challenges that she’s come out of or perhaps she is facing some challenges, but if you take some time to listen and observe, you will be able to help her to see it, it is not that you have to show it to her, its not that you have to tell her. All you have to do, sometimes is be that catalyst that helps her to realize that there is something in front of you that you are not seeing. So, come on, let us see what is right here in front of you instead of gazing what is behind or what is not there anymore and I think that would really help some sister deal with this holiday situation. Maybe she can’t put up lights around her home because inside she is not feeling bright, she does not want to put up any lights but help her to see that even if she is feeling down right now, she hasn’t always felt down and that there is a possibility that there is something bright in front of her. Help her to see it and encourage her heart and even if you have to take a little candle to her and say now listen, I can tell you are having a hard time seeing your bright future so I am going to give you a candle and don’t look at this candle and receive this candle because of the scent that is associated with it. This candle is here as a reminder for you to be able to look and see the light at the end of whatever this is you are going through. See the brightness of what is in front of you. Not just everything that is behind you or the things that are not there anymore.

I think these aspects of interacting with a sister during this holiday will cause you to get your cheerleading outfit, that you will be a cheerleader for another sister. Now she does not have to be your bestie but it is about the sisterhood, just being there, being supportive, being an encourager for another sister.

So I hope that you have enjoyed these points that I shared with you as you are dealing with and interacting with other women, your female friends, your female colleagues. Do your best to be the best that you can be for another female because females need female friends. Now everyone doesn’t have to be your bestie but you can bring your best ideas, your best joy, your best personality into the life of a sister who really needs you, she might not know how to ask for it but you can certainly bring it and brighten her day.

All right, well I want to thank you for letting me in your ears, letting me in to your life like this. Sharing these things. This is the holiday season. I enjoy this holiday season but at the same time, I understand what it is like to look around and not have some people in your life, both of my parents are deceased and so during this holiday time, I could be in that same emotional space but I look at what is right in front of me and I spend time with people that I love an appreciate and they love and appreciate me. I don’t have to be perfect. They love me for who I am and I love them the same way and I also enjoy doing some shopping even if I cannot shop the way I want to sometimes, during this time of the year, I like to give things away so this year I actually found through some months of investigation and organization where you have families who are in need which is a little different from some of these organizations, where you make a donation and they sell the items at a reduced rate but I found some place where I could actually take clothes and things that would help a family and toys and so they are not new but they are like new and I think that there would be people who would enjoy receiving these things without having to go and purchase them. I am doing some shopping for myself, my family but I am also spending some time and giving which is not always giving cash, money or going out and buying new things but I am really trying to do the things that I can to help another sister.

So thank you so much ladies, thank you for listening to me. Thank you for thinking about your 2017. Alright. Still continue to think about your intentions for 2017. Your call to action, when you finish click the share button on this podcast, post it on your social media, tell another sister about it and let’s keep this thing going. If you want to write a comment, go to the website, www.buildingabettersisterhood.com and on episodes, you will see the posts for this episode and you can leave your comments there.

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

This time of the year where so many are seeking to be joyful and happy and enjoying time at the same time where depression is really high. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

There are people who don’t have strong relationships. They long to have somebody remember them or think about them.CECELIA GREENEBARR

Sometimes it takes the sting out of what you don’t receive when you become the giver instead of the receiver. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Bring some holiday cheer to another sister by surprising another sister with something that is meaningful to that sister. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

We need to really pay attention to the tone of another sister’s voice because not everyone says that they are lonely or they’re a little sad. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

It is not always about spending all of your money, a lot of times people would really rather have your time. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Sometimes we become overwhelmed and fascinated by the things that are off center instead of being focused on the things and seeing what is right in front of us. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Call To Action:

Your call to action, when you finish click the share button on this podcast, post it on your social media, tell another sister about it and let’s keep this thing going. If you want to write a comment, go to the website, www.buildingabettersisterhood.com and on episodes, you will see the posts for this episode and you can leave your comments there

 

 

Links

Find Cecelia GreeneBarr on the Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrGreeneBarr

 

Prepare your personal intentions for 2017 w/ Cecelia GreeneBarr | Episode 011

BBS Episode 011

2016 is fast coming to an end and 2017 will be here before we know it, so as we celebrate the outgoing of 2016, the highs, the lows and the neutral zones of 2016, we need to begin to look into 2017 and to plan and to strategize accordingly.

 

Podcast Transcription

This is going to be a good time of conversation and thinking forward as we are looking and preparing ourselves for 2017. So, how did I come to this idea? Well, simple, this podcast Building A Better Sisterhood is about helping to be a better sister to a sister to your bestie. You and I, we are becoming besties over this medium of a podcast. You let me come in to your ear, you let me talk to you, you listen as I interview other ladies, other sisters, talk about their best friend experiences and I just believe that we are developing this relationship and I want to add value to your life, add value to the time that you give to me in your life and the best way I know how to do that is to share some good information. Being a friendship strategist for you and just sharing with you some things that are going to help you think more strategically about your own life and when your life is good, just as our sister on a previous episode, Tamara Scott said, when you have whole people coming together, it makes for better friendships. So the only way that you can guarantee that you are coming into good friendships is to be whole yourself and what better way to be whole than to think holistically about your life.

I just want to share a few things with you about how we can prepare for 2017 and as we are preparing for 2017, it is not my intention to run away from a year. In my life, I tried to embrace every single day. I try to bring 100% of my game everyday, 100% of who I am to every task. I am a bit of a type a personality but whether you are type A or not, you owe it to yourself to bring your best self, your best ability, your strongest mindset to your moment. Now, that does not mean that you always have to be at the top of your game. I woke up this morning and my throat, you know how you get the feeling where something is coming on and your immune system is a little depleted? And so even if your game for that day is to rest your body, then do it and do it well.

So with that mindset, every single day to me is very precious and these days accumulate into a year so I don’t like to ever run from a year. 2016, how was it for you? How was it for your relationships with your best friends, some people came into your life in 2016, some people left your life in 2016. You probably went some place that opened some new possibilities of ideas and thinking for you. Hopefully, you took a vacation, maybe it wasn’t two weeks sailing the Nile, was it at least a weekend away where you could just relax, unplug and breather? So 2016, I’m sure for you as it was for me, it had a variety of experiences and I embrace and I am thankful for everything that I experienced in 2016. Every bit of it, every single bit of it, why? Because I was allowed to experience it, every day I woke up and my children came and gave me a hug and we talk about our love for one another, every day that my husband looked at me and told me he loved me, every time my friends sent me a text, called me, spent their finances to spend time with me and I did the same for them. 2016 was great and I am in no way saying that we need to just throw it away, just can’t wait to get out. That is not what I am talking about today. What I am saying to us, to myself and to you is that the responsible thing to do is to begin to prepare for the next year.

Now, so many people just roll out of one year and roll into the next year as if nothing has happened. Its just another day, you just wake up another day. But I am a woman that believes in celebrating. I like to celebrate. This year for my birthday, on my birthday I had a cake, I had flowers, I was at a conference that the day before was quite intense, and so I got up, I put my birthday dress on, I put my self together, I went to my booth, I pat my cake and as people came past my booth, before they could say what they were going to say, I told them, its my birthday, tell me happy birthday all that other stuff, so I am a woman that likes to celebrate and so as I celebrate the outgoing of 2016, the highs, the lows and the neutral zones of 2016, it is just responsible to begin to look into 2017 and to plan and to strategize accordingly. Now some people don’t like that word, strategize, its just planning ahead, thinking strategically, now I know that not everyone sits and think strategically, that’s not something that some people even give thought, they are more free flowing and maybe you are free flowing but just do this with me. See if it benefits you even if you are free flowing. 2017 is just a few weeks away and we will be in to this new year and there are some new possibilities waiting for you in 2017 and you don’t want to miss them only because you did not think ahead, you did not imagine ahead, you did not strategize ahead.

First thing I want to talk about is just taking some time to start thinking about your intentions towards your next year. You get to be, I don’t really like this word, selfish because it has so many negative connotations but I am going to use it. So, you are entitled to think about yourself and what I want to encourage you to do is to begin to take some time this week after hearing this podcast, take some time to start thinking about your intentions, not your activities but what are your intentions towards your next year, towards 2017? What are your intentions for your self? What do you intend for 2017 in your life? Don’t confuse this with the resolutions, personally I was never good in making a resolution for January 1 to start and then by February 1, I would have forgotten it. I am not talking about resolutions, I am just saying, begin this week to start thinking about your intentions towards your next year, not what you want somebody else to do, not anything external but your intentions towards your next year and so I want to give two steps to begin to do this, this is preparation and you know what preparation begins? It begins in your mind. That is valuable real estate, your mind is valuable real estate, sometimes squatters come and try to squat on your mind with thoughts and intentions that are of no value to you or little value so reclaim that real estate and the way we are going to reclaim that real estate is to begin to think about your intentions for your next year and you are going to start with that valuable real estate which is your mind. So number 1, let’s do this even if you are free flowing, just try it with me, number 1, in this week from today until next week when I come back and talk to you again I want you to take 30 minutes every single day to think about your intentions. 30 minutes goes by fast when you go get a massage, who gets a 30 min massage? Its like as soon they get started, its over. So you know how fast 30 minutes can go by but I am going to ask you to take 30 minutes in your valuable real estate which is your mind, your thoughts, take 30 minutes and the only thing that your are going to begin to think about in those 30 minutes are your intentions. Now, you’re saying “where am I going to get 30 minutes, my life is full, I have responsibilities, I am already over taxed and you want me to find 30 more minutes”, no, I don’t want you to find 30 minutes, let me see if I can find 30 minutes for you as a suggestion. Do you go and get your hair done every week? If you go to a salon or someone’s house or wherever it is you go to get your hair done, to get somebody else to service you and take care of you, instead of engaging in the conversation that usually goes on in those establishments, instead of watching the television or listening to the music or the gossip or the banter, put your ear plugs in and just tell them I am not trying to be rude but I need to think about some things while you are taking care of my hair so I am going to put these plugs in but I don’t want you to feel like I don’t want to engage with you, I just need 30 minutes while you are taking care of my hair, I need to take care of my mind and while you are sitting there and they are taking care of your hair or let’s say for example you are at the nail salon, put your ear plugs in and begin to think. You are going to be sitting there and you might as well use it to your benefit so while you are there, begin to think and if that doesn’t work for you how about this? If you live in the city, when you take public transportation to and from work or wherever, when you are sitting on the train, sitting on the bus, now you do need to be aware of your surroundings, I am not saying close your eyes or anything, all I am saying is take that time, don’t listen to any music, don’t scroll social media, just take 30 minutes doing that time and work in your own real estate which is your mind, you can find some time like that and let’s say you drive and so don’t think about while you are driving because while you are driving you are paying attention to what you are doing but when you get to your destination, if you are someone who drives to work, when you arrive at your destination, stay in your car, I know its getting cold for some of us living in cold areas this might be a challenge, stay in your car for 5 minutes, if you are in a cold climate, if you can afford it, just let the car run because you don’t want to be cold, stay in your car for 5 minutes, turn the radio off, take your phone, set the timer and think for 5 minutes about your intentions for your next year.

So these are just some places where you can find some time and if you can’t do it in 30 minute chunks then do it as long as you can and build your way up but by the end of the week accumulate as many minutes as you possibly can thinking about your intentions for next year and keep some paper with you, it doesn’t have to be big notebooks, no major investment, just get a little sheet of paper and get one sheet of paper, letter size paper and fold it until it is just small and manageable and you can just tuck it in some place just so you can always have a piece of paper and a writing instrument and while you are thinking everyday, if you cant get 30 minutes, take 5 sitting in the car and what you should do as you are thinking write down every single random thought about your intentions. I intend this for my next year, write it down, don’t think about whether it makes it, just write it down. We are writing down what we are thinking and we will flush it down later.

Now the next thing that I am going to ask you to do in preparation for 2017, I want you to get an accountability partner for at least one area of your intention, so lets say for example your intention for 2017 is to save 17% of your take home money that you are going to save it, you are not saving it for a trip, you are not saving it for spending but you are saving it for your future, and you need to get an accountability partner just so that you can have somebody who will keep you accountable for your strategy for saving that money. Lets say one of your intentions for next year is to buy a new home, maybe you want to downsize, maybe you want to get something larger, whatever it is your intention happens to be but you want to buy a new home and you want to get the best interest rate possible, maybe that is your intention then get an accountability partner and this is what I am going to say about your accountability partner, this is not your best friend. This is not your spouse, this isn’t your husband, this isn’t your boyfriend. This is someone who will help you stay accountable towards your intentions towards your next year.

Now the reason I say you shouldn’t make it your husband, your boyfriend or your best friend is because they already participate in so many areas of your life and you want someone that when you talk to that person, you are only talking about this one thing because their role in your life is not to meet all your needs, they are there for accountability and accountability only. Sis, where am I going to get this accountability partner, there are some networks that you are a part of, some people that you know, you are not trying to pour your life out to them, you are not trying to give them your social security number and the accounts to you savings, you are not divulging all of your life to them, their purpose in your life is to keep you accountable to your own intentions, so the only true vulnerability you have to share is what your intentions are towards your life and you need to have the conversation with them to say he, would you be willing to be my accountability partner, now, if you say to your accountability partner, my intentions towards my next year is to get 8 hours of sleep every night, then you don’t have to explain well I went to the doctor and this is what is going on with my help and part of my restoration process… You don’t need to tell them all of that, this is not your best friend, you are not trying to be best friends, you just need an accountability partner, so maybe you are part of a network and you are able to just kind of discern someone that you can have that level of interaction with and you are going to be wise. Wisdom is the first thing, these are not people, they are not intended to counsel you, they are accountability, you check in and you are honest when you check in.

Maybe you are part of some online groups and when you are part of an online group and you want to find an accountability partner, that group obviously has some interest that are similar to yours begin to read some of the things people post in their comments and if you see people posting things that you resonate with their comment, maybe that might be a good person to reach out to and say hey, I have been reading your comments, I kind of like the way you think, I am looking for an accountability partner for 2017. When you tell them what you want from them and how long you want it then they will not begin to think that you are asking them to participate in a long term project with them because they may not want to do that but if you say I am looking for an accountability partner in this one area of my life and I was wondering if you would mind doing that with me and maybe we can set it up where I would check in with you on a weekly, bi-weekly basis and would you be interested in helping me in that way and maybe, just maybe they might be looking for an accountability partner in the same area and then therefore the relationship will become reciprocal but remember this is an accountability partner, so when the two of you check in, you talk about what you are checking in about and then you depart the conversation because we are not trying to become best friends, we are trying to stay on track.

So those are the two areas I want to encourage you to begin with and let me give you a third because this was really on my mind and on my heart. Do this, I for myself, I like to read, I like books, I get magazine but honestly it is hard for me to sit and read a magazine because I get distracted by the advertisements but a book I like to read and I’ll be honest with you I don’t do very much leisure reading because I am always on task in my profession so I am always reading books that are related to the work that I do, I am personally very passionate about what I do for a living and what I do for my life and so I read and I read in my area but I want to encourage you, I don’t know if you have a library at home, if you actually buy books. A lot of people don’t buy books anymore, they download them but whether you buy a book, if you go to a library to get your books, we still do libraries in this house because we have young children so we still do the library and as a matter of fact, the library is a good place to think. The public library, yes it is. You know why? Because you are supposed to be quiet in a library so that is another spot, I did not think about it on the front end but if you are home, sometimes even if I am home alone, I have a hard time thinking about me because I’m responsible for so many people in my home, my husband, my children, I have responsibilities to my family that I love but sometimes I am the last one on the totem pole to get some thought time so yes, I sneak off to the library and I sit in the library and I can think so there you go. There’s a bonus but back to my point.

Last point, if you have books in your home, I want to ask you to do this sister, go to your library where you keep your books in your home and pull out twelve books that you intend to read in 2017. Now, it is good to reread a book. Now I don’t know about you but one of my cousins, she is no longer with us but she used to love romance novels, I couldn’t get into it but she loved romance novels so whatever it is that you like to read whether it is informational, inspirational but find twelve books and pull them separate from the rest of your library and look at those books and schedule in one book a month that you will read in 2017, reading, you need to read and I don’t mean just reading everybody’s social media updates. You need to read a book, a book of your choosing but read and go back and reread specially your informational, inspirational books. Go back and reread those, take some notes, do some annotations, go back and reread and set out for yourself 12 books that you will read in 2017. Whatever those subjects are but keep your mind fresh. Those are the three things.

Remember them? number 1 the first thing we are going to do is take 30 minutes each day to think about your intentions. This is between now and the new year, 30 minutes every day over the next few weeks thinking only about the your intentions for you, your next year. Number 2, you are going to get yourself an accountability partner in at least one area of your intention and number 3, find 12 books that you will read even if it is a book you have read before, 12 books. Pull those books out, put them in a place of prominence and read them. Put them on the schedule for when you will read them in 2017.

Alright, that was a lot but I hope it was good for you because we have to prepare for 2017. That is how we are going to be better because we are going to be better and we are going to bring our better selves to our bffs, that is what we are going to do.

Thank you so very much for giving me this time to talk to you as we prepare for 2017. We are not running away from 2016, we are just getting ready for the new year and when I come back for the next podcast, we will be talking about this some more, if you want to share with me some of the books you are going to be reading in 2017, can you put those comments on the website buildingabettersisterhood.com, go to the episode page and for this particular episode there will be a place where you can leave comments. I would like to know what you are reading, what you intend to read for 2017 so come on, list your books that you intend to read and it doesn’t have to be in any particular order, I just like to know what you are reading so I appreciate you doing that and sharing in that kind of way. Also thank you for clicking the icon on your digital device where you can actually share this podcast, you can click it, you can share it on your social media. You can text the link, just from your phone, just form your ipad or your tablet to somebody in your circle, to your bff and maybe you want to connect to your bff and say hey listen, I just listened to this podcast, let’s do this together, let us think about 17 together because it will be here before you know it.

So I want thank you in advance for clicking share, using that icon on this broadcast to share it with somebody else. Well I thank you for this day. This has been another episode of building another sisterhood with me. I am your host, Cecelia GreeneBarr. Thank you. I’ll see you online, you can find me on Facebook, you can follow me if you are a twitter person but stop by the website, buildingabettersisterhood.com. Until the next time, I share my voice with you and you share your time with me. Have a great day. Good bye.

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

The only way that you can guarantee that you are coming into good friendships is to be whole yourselfCecelia Greenebarr

It is just responsible to begin to look into 2017 and to plan and to strategize accordingly.Cecelia Greenebarr

Your mind is valuable real estate, sometimes squatters come and try to squat on your mind with thoughts and intentions that are of no value to you or little value so reclaim that real estate. -– Cecelia Greenebarr

Get an accountability partner just so that you can have somebody who will keep you accountable for intentions towards the next year.Cecelia Greenebarr

You owe it to yourself to bring your best self, your best ability, your strongest mindset to your moment.Cecelia Greenebarr

Embrace everything you have experienced in 2016 because you were allowed to experience it. Cecelia Greenebarr

You don’t want to miss your opportunities only because you did not think ahead.Cecelia Greenebarr

Call To Action:

The first thing we are going to do is take 30 minutes each day to think about your intentions. This is between now and the new year, 30 minutes every day over the next few weeks thinking only about the your intentions for you, your next year. Number 2, you are going to get yourself an accountability partner in at least one area of your intention and third, find 12 books that you will read even if it is a book you have read before, 12 books. Pull those books out, put them in a place of prominence and read them. Put them on the schedule for when you will read them in 2017.

 

 

Links

Find Cecelia GreeneBarr on the Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrGreeneBarr