Mediators for when friendships go badly w/ Twyla Lucas | Episode 26

BBS Episode 026_TWYLA LUCAS

In this episode, Twyla and I discussed strategies for reconciliation after falling-out with your bestie. From experience she knows  how mediators can help mend those good relationships.

 

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

  1. Talking things through is much better than texting and tweeting. – TWYLA LUCAS

Talking things through is much better than texting and tweeting and it can help make your relationship better because you are able to communicate and explaining what that person’s situation, what they said to you, how it affected you.

 

  1. We have to go that extra mile with out children instead of just being their friend but we need to tell them what they need to hear sometimes and not just what they want to. – TWYLA LUCAS

The situation with me and the other mother, we talked, we recognized our daughters as good friends and something small and petty, they need to fix, we need to get them together so sometimes we have to go that extra mile with out children instead of you know, we are their friend but we need to tell them what they need to hear sometimes and not just what they want to.

 

  1. Mediating relationships means you’ll need to be the bigger person & be willing to identify and fix conflict.

I just feel like we shouldn’t get past that stereotype that women cant get along and you should be the bigger person and be willing to go to that individual with the conflict is and try to fix it.

Call To Action:

Let us just reconnect. You do need to put effort in to understand how you disconnect so you would not disconnect but let us just reconnect. It’s not sweeping things under the rug, it’s not ignoring the obvious. We are just talking about people, friends who disconnect because of whatever but it wasn’t a falling out.

Links

Find Cecelia GreeneBarr
www.facebook.com/DrGreeneBarr
www.buildingabettersisterhood.com
www.CeceliaGreeneBarr.com

 

Reconnecting with friends | Episode 25

Reconnecting.friends.sisterhood.podcast25-greenebarr

On the podcast today, I talk to you about reconnecting with good friends. How many of us have sister friends that we’ve moved into the category of “former friend”? Maybe it’s because time has passed, situations have come and go and they kind of dropped off our radar? If you have a sister-friend that you’ve disconnected with please enjoy this podcast.

Yes, you may quote me –  “PEARLS OF WISDOM”

 

  1. Not all disconnects happen because the friends had a disagreement. 
  1. Disconnects can happen because other things get put in front of the friendship. 
  1. If this friend is important to you then you are going to have to initiate the contact. 
  1. If you are tired of being the first mover then you have some soul searching to do about the worth of the friendship. 
  1. Friends are hard to come by.  
  1. If you have a sister-friend, it’s worth trying to develop and make that relationship better. 

 

CALL TO ACTION:

It’s time to reconnect. You need to put effort into understanding how the friendship disconnected. It’s not about sweeping things “under the rug” or ignoring the obvious. If the friendship was meaningful, make the emotional investment and reach out for the purposes of reconnecting. If it helps, invited your disconnected friend to listen to this podcast. It could be the vehicle to get the conversation flowing.

Links

Find Cecelia GreeneBarr
www.facebook.com/DrGreeneBarr
www.buildingabettersisterhood.com
www.CeceliaGreeneBarr.com

The intentional act of follow up | Episode 24

BBS Episode 24

Today, I’d like to talk about following up on conversations, following up on commitments. In order to maintain good relationships with our sisters, we have to master the art of following-up. Come behind the initial engagement and follow-up.

 

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

  • There has to be intention and action after the initial connection. CECELIA GREENEBARR

There has to be intention and action after the initial connection in order for whatever was discussed at that point to begin to have a life of it’s own.

  • We have to master the art of follow-up. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

We have to master the art of follow-up. Come behind the initial engagement and follow-up. It doesn’t mean, you had to have something specific you need to say but it’s just the point of being able to follow-up.

  • Following-up communicates your sincerity. CECELIA GREENEBARR

Following-up communicates your sincerity in what matters to your best friend. Your sincerity as it relates to what is happening in their life. What is important to them even the small things.

  • When you begin to do your follow up, try not to go the route of text messaging. CECELIA GREENEBARR
  • Keep your best friend relationships as personal as possible. –CECELIA GREENEBARR

Try to put some little bit more effort into it and keep your best friend relationships as personal as possible

  • Don’t be so busy with the pursuit of life that you don’t have to follow-up with your BFF. – CECELIA GREENEBARR
  • As females we can be better towards one another but it takes some work, effort and intentionality. CECELIA GREENEBARR

I really believe that as females we can be better towards one another. It takes some work. It takes some effort. It takes intentionality.

Call To Action:

Follow-up today on some thing your BFF told you most recently. Follow up, call, drop by, face time, Skype, something but make your presence and your interest and your concern know. It is just one more step towards being a better sister to your BFF. 

Links

Find Cecelia GreeneBarr on the Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrGreeneBarr

 

Steps to restoring friendships w/ Alicia Hunter | Episode 23

BBS Episode 023

In this episode, we will be talking about how as females, we can develop better relationships and the steps we all need to take in order to restore broken friendships.

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

Its okay to allow other people to love you that aren’t biologically connected to you. – ALICIA HUNTER

So many people are so selfish with themselves, they hold back the best of themselves because they are trying to be protective somewhere along the way. CECELIA GREENEBARR

So many people are so selfish with themselves, they hold back the best of themselves because they are trying to be protective somewhere along the way. They have been hurt so they are only going to give a smidgen of themselves to someone so therefore people don’t want to share because they recognize that scarcity and that scarcity of love and attention.

Love and time heals all wounds and sometimes you just have to step back and give it time. – ALICIA HUNTER

Its what happens in the passing of time that determines if the passing of time was valuable or wasted– CECELIA GREENEBARR

the passing of time doesn’t heal anything because what was at the core that created the situation is never addressed but if in the passing of time, people begin to look at what they did, to create the core of the issue and start working on that instead of just constantly pointing fingers at the other party, then when there is a coming together, the coming together is better because they recognize what they did wrong. its what happens in the passing of time that determines if the passing of time was valuable or wasted.

As females, we have the capacity to be better towards one another. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

It is more important to love one another and to respect one another. – ALICIA HUNTER

A lot of these falling out sometimes have to do with you are not agreeing to them and what they are saying and you are not going to agree on everything but at the end of the day, it is more important to love one another and to respect one another and sometimes you will just have to agree to disagree.

True friendships can be reconciled. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

if you find yourself in a situation where you have sets of friends who don’t really want to be in each other’s presence around you because they don’t want to share you or if you are in a situation where you and one of your BFFs had a falling out, our hope today is that true friendships can be reconciled.

Call To Action:

Let the work begin with in you. First just kind of roam around your memory, not looking for what your BFF did but look at what you did, how did you contribute to the fall out. Do a walk around in your own headspace. Figure out where were you emotionally, mentally and physically. Evaluate where you were and it is for the purposes of identifying if you were really the contributing agent to the fall out. That is what we are looking for and if you were, take responsibility for that. Start working on correcting that element of what you discovered and then when the timing and the opportunity is correct, reconciliation will happen but in that moment of reconciliation, that is when it is time for you to step to the table and say “Listen, I know what was happening with me that contributed to this, I apologize for my part. I am not in that same place anymore and I want my friend back”.

 

Links

Find Alicia Hunter on the following platforms:
Facebook Page – https://www.facebook.com/alicia.hunter.503

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drceceliagreenebarr
Twitter: https://twitter.com/drgreenebarr
Periscope: https://www.periscope.tv/drgreenebarr/1kvKppmbmbQKE
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/GRNHSELLC
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgreenebarr/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ceceliagreenebarr/

 

Giving friends room to release their voice w/ Deborah Peppers | Episode 22

Giving Friends Room To Release Their Voice GreeneBarr Peppers

This week, I welcome Deborah Peppers to the podcast. In her roles as a university administrator, pastor and leader of female clergy, we delve into the ways in which females foster empowering relationships. In this discussion we also touch on the social aspect of female voices silenced in the public square. If you are a female who has felt the pressure to be seen and not heard, this podcast will speak to you. 

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

Sometimes, conflict is within our selves but we take that and we try to label it on somebody else. – DEBORAH PEPPERS

Be mindful of what you share with others, sometimes they are taking it to destroy you behind your back. – DEBORAH PEPPERS

To give somebody a voice is the most empowering thing. – DEBORAH PEPPERS

Many times at the table, women allow their voices to be silenced because it is the way we were taught. – DEBORAH PEPPERS

Leadership means you become bold and speak not only for yourself, but for those who do not have the boldness to speak up for themselves. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Just your presence speaks louder than any word. – DEBORAH PEPPER

Links

https://www.facebook.com/drceceliagreenebarr

 

 

The role of honesty in developing friendships w/ Emilygail Dill | Episode 21

BBS Episode 21

This episode touches on the topic about how women can get along better and be better at their friendship and honesty plays a pivotal role in developing better friendships.

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

*When you truly love someone then you are willing to accept them as they are. – EMILYGAIL DILL

When you truly love someone then you are willing to accept them as they are and that doesn’t mean that they will not hurt, that doesn’t mean that there will not be bombs along the way because there will.

*Being open and honest with one another becomes the real foundation for great friendship – EMILYGAIL DILL

*In sisterhood, individuals are united by a common bond – EMILYGAIL DILL

*It is wonderful when you have sister-friends because you share common bonds. – EMILYGAIL DILL

It is wonderful when you have sister-friends because you share those common bonds. You have that high level of trust and then you have that friendship and you can be yourself, have fun together, cry together and laugh together.

*When you fully accept your self then you are able then to be able to empathize with those that are around you. – EMILYGAIL DILL

When you fully accept your self then you are able to empathize with those that are around you and build better friendships because I often have them to reflect on how they would feel if something was being done to them and having them to understand each other and be there for one another.

*You have to really believe beyond the shadow of doubt that when your intentions are pure, the end result will eventually be what it needs for it to be – EMILYGAIL DILL

 *When you love someone, you are there through the good, the bad, the ugly. – EMILYGAIL DILL

When you love someone, you are there through the good, the bad, the ugly You are going to be there for them and you are going to treat them with the respect that you would want to be treated with.

Call To Action:

Ask your self have you had a chance to share that thought or opinion with the person for whom you hold that opinion, so if you are talking and it can be an innocent conversation but if you are talking in a group and you happen to mention something about a female that you might be trying to develop a friendship with, if you haven’t shared with them what it is you are really feeling about them then your call to action is to be courageous enough to set some time to have that conversation

Links

You can find EMILYGAIL DILL on the following platforms:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/emilygail.dill

 

Collegial friendships among females; fact or fiction w/ Alene Styles-Glover | Episode 20

BBS Episode 20

Join Cecelia and her guest, Rev. Alene Styles-Glover as they discuss the importance of collegial friendships in the sisterhood and how to develop these authentic relationships.

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

It is essential to embrace sisters for who they are, where they are. – ALENE STYLES-GLOVER

All of the gifts and talent that sisters bring together help to collaborate to build each other, encourage each other, to stretch each other and really to push each other to that next place. – ALENE STYLES-GLOVER

There are some commitments that we must individually accept in order to move that relationship to the next level. – ALENE STYLES-GLOVER

We have been created to declare God’s praise. – ALENE STYLES-GLOVER

It is important to have some modelling of either mentorship or partnership, identifying other women, our sister-girls who you can partner with and you can be mentors to each other. – ALENE STYLES-GLOVER

We acknowledge people because God created all things. – ALENE STYLES-GLOVER

In a true mentoring relationship, your mentor needs to know that they are fulfilling that role in your life. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Call To Action:

This podcast is worthy of sharing, so click the share button on your device and send it out to one or two of your colleagues, someone who is in the same profession, same line of business as you. This is a good bridge to develop the relationship, send it to them, ask them to listen and then set an appointment where the two of you can talk about it together to begin to develop a relationship with someone who is in the same line of work that you are in and see if it works for you

Links

Find Alene Styles-Glover on the following platforms:
Facebook Page – www.facebook.com/alene.stylesglover

 

Let’s talk about the money thing w/ Cecelia GreeneBarr | Episode 19

This month I started a financial movement – a program called dFree™. The program was developed by Rev. Deforest B. Soaries Jr @dbsoaries. He launched dFree™ several years ago as a means to assist the members of his congregation in dealing with crushing consumer debt. Rev. Soaries was interviewed on CNN by Soledad O’Brien to discuss the need for a financial revolution.

In December our church hosted an orientation to prepare for the January kickoff of dFree™. The program has many resources, including a book; “Say Yes to No Debt” and a workbook.

So why I am bringing this to you on the Building a Better Sisterhood podcast? It’s because I am thinking about you sister. I’m thinking about how much better your relationships will be with your friends, as you eliminate financial stress. I’m thinking about you as if you were right here in my studio, sitting here with me and we’re sipping a cup of hot tea. At some point, we would start talking about that money thing. Think about it, so many times if you want to get together with your best friends, the money situation often makes the decisions about everything.  We might as well talk about the money.

 

Here are tweetable quotes… my Pearls of Wisdom: 

Let’s choose to save more than we saved last year. Let’s try to find some ways to save where it doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t feel like we are being deprived of life’s little things.– CECELIA GREENEBARR 

 

Just because you have the money to spend doesn’t mean you have to spend it. You can be wiser in how you choose to spend your money.– CECELIA GREENEBARR 

 

We need to have some stocks and investments that are going to make our money work for us. We need our name included at the register of deeds in our local municipality. Whether it’s a vacation home or primary residence, we need property in which we don’t pay rent. Why? Because we must think about the legacy. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Tweet these…

Consumer debt is not your friend.  

Let’s try to find some ways to save where it doesn’t hurt.

Instead of spending, just choose to save. 

We must to get to the place where we are not reluctant to look at our circumstances.

It’s not about living a life of deprivation; it’s about being a good steward over what you have. 
Just because you have the money to spend doesn’t mean you have to spend it.

 

 

 

 

CALL TO ACTION:

Find places in your daily routine where you can keep more money in your wallet. Choose to spend your cash in places where its going to get you a great return, better dividends.

Links
Reference: dFree™ Say Yes to No Debt http://mydfree.org 
Rev. Dr. DeForest B. Soaries @dbsoaries
Visit me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrGreeneBarr

 

Let's talk about the money thing w/ Cecelia GreeneBarr | Episode 19

Personal Choices teach young girls to be better sisters w/ Velva Burley Flowers | Episode 18

BBS Episode 18

Dr. Velva Burley-Flowers is back on the podcast for the 2nd part of her guesting as she talks about teaching women versus teaching young children how to make great choices even in their relationships.

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

“If you keep making bad choices what you therefore then have is a habit.” – CECELIA GREENEBARR

If you keep making bad choices what you therefore then have is a habit. Trip somebody once, okay. Three times you are caught, that’s a habit of not being sportsman…

“Identify really true, honest and sincere friendships and once you have identified it, you have to be the one to value it. ”– VELVA BURLEY-FLOWERS

You have to be able to identify really true, honest and sincere friendships and once you have identified it, you have to be the one to value it because if she had value, “well I am in a certain position, my best girl-friend needs to be someone who has wholes of position” then you are valuing a position.

“Identify the key ingredients or key things that are important to having a solid sister friendship.” – VELVA BURLEY-FLOWERS

Identifying those things that are important in a sister-friendship and then breaking it down because you can take just one aspect and show. If you are dealing with honesty, you can take one aspect and show how a scenario where honesty supported and uplifted a relationship and where it tore a relationship down.

“When you are faithful, God will do some things you would not even expecting god to do.” – VELVA BURLEY FLOWERS

“Special sister-girl friend share life experiences.” – VELVA BURLEY FLOWERS

Special sister-girl friend share life experiences. Share those meaningful moments and don’t always call and share when its good news but have in your life where you can share even some of the troubles, the hardships.

“Understand that dots do connect and be able to connect dots that will move you where you want to go.” – VELVA BURLEY FLOWERS

Understand that dots do connect and be able to connect dots that will move you where you want to go. Be intentional about pouring out that wisdom with your sister-girl friends and with those god has placed in your life.

Call To Action:

Here is your call to action, click that share button. Help me grow the platform, help me grow the downloads. If you want to leave a comment, you can on the website, www.buildingabettersisterhood.com but help me grow it.

Links

Find Velva Burley-Flowers on the following platforms:

Facebook Page – Velva Burley-Flowers
Twitter Page: @DrVelva
Website: www.choicesmakingmovestowin.com

 

Friendships during end of life w/ Lemora Dobbs | Episode 17

Friendships during the end of life | Episode 17

As we continue to live our lives, the end is an inevitable reality that we all need to come to terms with and so just like we planned for everything else we also have to plan for the end of our lives. Join host, Cecelia GreeneBarr and her guest, Lemora Dobbs as they discuss how to be better with our girl-friend relationships towards the end of our lives.

Yes, you can quote our “Pearls of Wisdom”

Confidentiality is an absolute must. – LEMORA DOBBS

Confidentiality is an absolute must and that it destroys trust if we tell something that we don’t have permission to tell. There are some treasured moments and emotions of our lives we know is not going to be repeated unless we give permission.

If we can go through life and be able to point at one or two people that would put their life on an indefinite hold to be with us in our weakest moments, we are rich. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Treat other people like we want to be treated. – LEMORA DOBBS

Treat other people like we want to be treated because if we do that, we establish a foundation in which true friendship can be.

We have to learn to set aside time for sisterhood even when there’s a new man on the scene. – LEMORA DOBBS

We have to learn to set aside that for sisterhood even when there’s a new man on the scene because our sister friends are going to be there for us. Sometimes, relationships last, sometimes they don’t but our real true sister friends, they’ll be there for us.

We sometimes fail to come to terms with our own mortality. – LEMORA DOBBS

One of the things we sometimes fail to do is to come to terms with our own mortality. Yes, we will live forever, eternally with Christ for those who have been born again but we will not live eternally in this body. It is a very present and possible reality for everyone of us no matter what our age so one of the things. If we look down the road to how we want the end to be of this life, then we have the privilege right now of stepping back from the vision and beginning to make some decisions now that will help us ensure that that end is what we want to.

Don’t hang out in place of condemnation too long. – CECELIA GREENEBARR

Don’t hang out in that place of condemnation too long, it will paralyze you. You can’t do anything about the ball that you dropped for them.

Learned to be the kind of friend on whom we can depend. – LEMORA DOBBS

Learned to be the kind of friend whom we can depend when we come to the end of our lives or we are facing those situations that are mountainous or multitudinous that we do not know how we are going to get through them.

 

Call To Action:

If you are struggling because you kind of dropped the ball, lets move past that and lets just let it lie and reach out to whatever existing family members, maybe that will help. If visiting the gravesite to just say your last goodbye, do something and to fix that in your memory, but then at the same time, honor the people who are in your life now buy deciding to be better in being attentive and being those kinds of close friends holding confidences so that at the end of days, you are not by yourself

Links

Find Lemora Dobbs on the following platforms:

Facebook Page – https://www.facebook.com/lemora.dobbs

 

 

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